Is Seduction Dead?

12 Aug

It’s been a better than average week in Writerland; I’ve got two heroes doing their level best to tempt two heroines into bed. What a lovely way to spend the workday! This is usually my favorite part of the story – even more so than the sex itself – because this is where the fire between these characters really starts.

The whole thing made me wonder, though. What about the real world? Is seduction dead? Has it been relegated to the realm of fiction?

Before I get at this, I want to be clear about something. When I say ‘seduction,’ I do NOT refer to that PUA crap espoused by any number of insecure losers who have convinced themselves and each other that they have to fool women into sleeping with them. I will not name them here, but I think a lot of you know who they are. They like to use the word ‘seduction’ because it elevates what they’re doing, but don’t be fooled. These guys are wannabes who rely on a woman’s ignorance of their methods, games and assorted tricks. They’re not seducers, and my suspicion is that most of them know it.

Seduction is a magical process, the evolution of curiosity to willingness to exploration to consummation. Seduction is endlessly patient. Seduction is risky. It’s a sensual negotiation. Will she surrender? How hard will he try?

I’m not sure we still do this today. A single person’s world is built on agreements, spoken and unspoken, that seem to have removed seduction’s teeth. If we know there won’t be sex before the third date or until we’re a couple or for 90 days or until some mutually selected milestone has been reached (like last call), can seduction still exist? If we know exactly where consummation lies, is there a point to seduction? Is it merely ceremonial?

Are we stuck with the PUAs?

Is there any hope of bringing true seduction back?

I don’t have any answers, I’m afraid. I think all we can do is try to keep seduction alive by flirting with strangers wherever they appear and by sticking with those super-hot reads we all love so much.

Roll call for the top-flight seducers in the comment section!

**Alexa Day is hanging out with her favorite seducer, Illicit Impulse’s Tal Crusoe, as he chases down the one who got away. Tal’s got his hands full just now, but if you want to keep up with Alexa, your best bet is Facebook.

3 Responses to “Is Seduction Dead?”

  1. Denise Golinowski August 13, 2013 at 9:00 am #

    Great post, Alexa! Thank you for standing up for the art of seduction. I’ve been out of “the game” for a while, but I’m a firm believer. There is something to be said about a little flirtation even in an existing relationship. Just because one is in a committed relationship does not mean that sex is a foregone conclusion. IMHO, if men (and women) have jettisoned the idea of seduction in search of instant gratification then they are shortchanging themselves and their partners. However, society has allowed the media (in all its forms) to dictate that faster is better, and the sure thing is best, so, sadly, why wouldn’t it have bled over into social exchanges of all types? Let me think on that list of seducers.I may not make it back here, but it’s certainly going to enliven my day!

    • Alexa Day August 13, 2013 at 6:24 pm #

      I do think some men and women have forgotten seduction because they don’t have time for it, which is a strong indicator of what will happen in a more private locale, I think. But I think a bigger problem for both men and women is the uncertainty. All those questions. Does he mean right now? Is she just going to say no? Is it even okay to try seduction? It’s just easier to rip off the Band-Aid and skip right to the decision-making.

      I just think easy is the enemy of good. 🙂


  1. Sexy Saturday Round-Up | Lady Smut - August 16, 2013

    […] seduction dead […]

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