Sex Q& A – Spicing up your sex life

1 Jun

First off, if you’re not 18, get outta here. Sorry, my pets, but the law is what it is, and while I like to push society’s boundaries, that is not one of them.

Today is the first Friday of a new month and you know what that means, it’s time for one of my posts. I do so enjoy writing these posts up. Hopefully it encourages you to push yourself just a little more into exploring your sexuality and getting your needs met.

With that being said  today it’s time to address one of the questions in my inbox.

Q: I recently started reading erotic romance and I have to admit I really like what I’ve read. Sex for me has always been something I did not necessarily something I really wanted to do. I know that sounds horrible but there it is. But now I’m wondering if I’ve been missing out on something and I’d like to try some of these things out with my husband but I don’t have a clue how to go about doing that. 

A: I’m thrilled you are discovering your sexuality. It’s never too late to have a more fulfilling sex  life and I applaud you for taking the first step.

You aren’t alone in not having the sex life you want. Unfortunately there are a great number of people who have less than satisfying sex lives with their partners. Don’t worry it can get better.

But in order to change things you’ll have to be honest with your partner. We always hear honesty is the best policy but when it comes to admitting things about our sexuality that theory seems to go out the window.  Be honest with your partner. If you need things to take a little longer or you want to explore other possibilities in bed then you have to let your partner know. They aren’t mind readers. If you’ve been happily going along for years why would your partner think you didn’t like it? For alot of people sex falls into the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” category. So if you want to try something else you’ll have to speak up.

Now I’m not suggesting you tell your partner they just aren’t getting it done. This is a sensitive subject and it needs to be addressed as such.

Is there a particular scene you’ve read  that  you’d like to try? Maybe you could just talk to your partner about that. A simple, “I read about this …………… (whatever it may be) and I was thinking maybe we should try it and see what it’s like. If it doesn’t work for us we don’t have to do it again.”

Or just suggest to your partner, “hey honey let’s mix things up a little and tonight I want to try going on top.”

Part of the key to a great ongoing sex life is communication. Talk to your partner but be realistic in your expectations. You can’t go from missionary in the dark once a week to hanging from the chandelier everynight without some lead-in. Introduce an idea you’d like to try, if that goes over well, then suggest something else.

But you have to be prepared that change is hard for some people and no one wants to hear that they aren’t getting the job done in bed, so be sensitive. There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting your partner know that you want more from your sex life. But like I said be considerate of their needs as well.

Sex shouldn’t be a chore, so talk to your husband.

I hope that helps a bit. Good luck and keep me posted.

And as always, if you have any questions you’d like to ask me, don’t be shy. Just fire me an email at askmadamnatalie@gmail.com and I will be sure to answer them. Nothing is off limits with me–except maybe politics–so always feel free to ask away.

Until next month,

~Madam Natalie

3 Responses to “Sex Q& A – Spicing up your sex life”

  1. Marilyn Campbell June 1, 2012 at 11:28 am #

    Thanks Madame. I especially like your advice to act out a scene from an erotic romance! But now I’m thinking about how I can recruit 3 more gorgeous men…

  2. Bond June 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

    Wonderful advice Madam Natalie. We all need a llitle spice in the sex life.

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