I Write, Therefore It Must Be About Sex, Right?

28 Apr

Every writer has a favorite spot to go to compose their latest works in progress. Mine is a pub down my street. It’s perfect. Even when it’s busy, it’s not boisterous. There’s no internet, no television, I can people watch and Kyle, the bartender, refills my glass before I even have to ask. Try to get that kind of service in a coffee house.

As I sit at the bar with my pen and paper, I can feel the curious glances shot in my direction. Invariably someone sits down next to me, 99.9% of the time it’s a man, and asks, “What’cha doing? Writing a book?”

“Yes, I am,” I reply.

“Is it a romance novel?”


“Is there lots of sex in it?”

Let’s ignore the fact that I do indeed write erotic romance. Why am I asked those three questions in that exact order every time someone finds out I’m a writer? Is there something about my persona that screams, “She has a kinky mind!” from across a room? My sister says it’s because I look like a romance writer, which she describes as being short, with long, dark curly hair and big boobs.

Okay, so maybe there are a few of us who fit that description, but when I think of the last writers’ conference I attended, there were actually very few of us who looked like that. So where does this line of questioning come from? Is it because of my looks, or simply because I’m female?

Sometimes I think that the gentleman questioner is mentally jumping up and down shouting, “I have found the holy grail! A female who thinks about sex as much as I do.” It’s especially funny when they ask if I’m published and I answer yes. Their speculative smirk fades into contemplation. Oh-ho, she’s not just being cute, she’s really a professional. Then comes the pause as if they expect me to say, “You know, I could use some help with this scene I’m working on. If I put my hand here and flick my tongue like this, how long will it take you to orgasm?”

Please don’t think I’m in any way offended when asked these questions. I’m only extremely curious as to the reason behind it, but I’m too chicken to ask the person to explain their thought process, so I end the conversation with a polite smile and go back to my work. But Kyle catches my eye and I see him laughing because I know he’s thinking the same thing.

I am a romance writer. It’s truly who I am, and maybe that shines in a way that can be physically seen by all. I will never shy away from proudly declaring that I write about characters who find connection with lots of incredibly charged moments of sexual interaction. If you ask me about my writing, I will tell you all about it, so you better be prepared for the answer.

Anna’s latest release, HERO REVEALED, is available now from Ellora’s Cave. Read an excerpt here: http://www.jasminejade.com/productspecs/9781419938665.htm


As a female sheriff in a small town, Brett Briggs faces enough obstacles turning complacent good ol’ boys into a top-notch police force without the added insult of a vigilante apprehending her criminals. Her prime suspect? Kristos Kilsgarrd, the sexy river guide who has been open in his desire to move her away from her badge and into his bed.

In his former position as royal guard, Kristos once failed a woman he cared for and as punishment was banned from his home on one of Saturn’s moons. He vows not to make the same mistake with Brett and uses his superpowers to protect her, no matter the foe. Or the cost.

But Brett didn’t become sheriff by letting a man take care of her, and although the hot-as-hell Kristos is persuasive, she’s not going to start now—even after burning it up between the sheets with him. When her town is threatened, they cry out for a hero and she sets out to prove to everyone, Kristos included, that she’s the woman for the job.

Follow Anna Alexander on Facebook and on Twitter- @AnnaWriter.

14 Responses to “I Write, Therefore It Must Be About Sex, Right?”

  1. Marilyn Campbell April 28, 2012 at 6:32 am #

    Welcome to Passionate Reads, Anna. Fun post! Have a great day.

  2. rileymurphy April 28, 2012 at 7:20 am #

    Hi Anna:

    Great post! And you have an opportunity here. Next time a guy sits down and asks those questions have some fun with him. When he ask if it’s a romance, look in dead-straight in the eyes and say, “No, I’m writing a guide on how NOT to pick up a woman.” Then pointedly put your pen to paper and add, “Go on.” 😉

    Your book sound wonderful. All the best with it!


  3. Kaily Hart April 28, 2012 at 7:31 am #

    Welcome to Passionate Reads! I don’t write much in public. I get too distracted by the people watching to actually write. I’m glad to hear it can have a fun element to it! Your books sounds awesome! Congrats!!

  4. Anna Alexander April 28, 2012 at 9:29 am #

    Thanks for the opportunity Marilyn. And yes Riley, sometimes I can’t help but get snarky, but I’m too chicken to be a real smart-ass.

    Thanks for visiting Kaily. I get distracted by all of the chores I should be doing, so that’s why I leave the house . Trust me, it’s a lot cheaper to write at home.

  5. Dita Parker April 28, 2012 at 9:30 am #

    Hi Anna,

    First of all, I love kick-ass heroines so best of luck and many happy sales with your book!

    I do the people watching thing as much as any author, hunt and gather, but I could never concentrate in a crowd, I can’t even listen to music while writing without getting distracted.

    Too funny, those men! Ask! Ask ’em, just report back to us how it went…

    • Anna Alexander April 28, 2012 at 11:05 am #

      Will do Dita. I’ll probably need a drink to loosen up.

  6. KL April 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

    You’re book looks awesome! That’s pretty amusing about those men approaching you in the pub. I think it’s that whole concept of people making assumptions about people even though we’re always told not to. It’s like when people go to the tall guy and say “I bet you play basketball.” Maybe you’re sister is right and you appear to be what some of these men imagine a romance writer looks like. I wonder what their reaction would be if you said you were writing a book on something like chemical engineering.

  7. Nara Malone April 28, 2012 at 8:11 pm #

    That’s the way, Anna, be proud of your craft. Looks like a wonderful book.

  8. Anna Alexander April 28, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

    Thanks KR and Nara.

    • Tibby Armstrong April 29, 2012 at 7:10 am #

      Great cover and fantastic plot, Anna!

      I know what you mean about people and their odd lines of thinking. I especially enjoy the one that says because I write it I must’ve done all of it or want to do all of it. Has anyone out there heard of *imagination*? lol!

      Good luck with your book and with your pub mates. ;0)


      • Anna Alexander April 29, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

        I hear you Tibby. I got that question from my mother of all people.

  9. shannonemmel April 30, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    Hi Anna! Sorry I’m late with my “Welcome to Passionate Reads”… Great post and we’re so happy you could join us!



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