Help! Emotional Support Needed!

16 Mar

It’s time. I can’t keep putting this off any longer. I want to, boy do I want to, but I just can’t. The kids are hounding me every day, fifty times a day. Over and over and over and–well, you get he point.


I guess it’s time I faced reality. No more whining. No more excuses. I’m just gonna have to suck it up and do the one wretched task I absolutely LOATHE.

I’m gonna have to put on a bathing suit.

Ugh, just that sentence makes me shiver. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent most of my life overweight. About this time last year (and I share this horrifying fact with you now because I consider us all friends), I topped the scales at a whopping 253 pounds. Now, okay, I’ve dropped 80-ish pounds since then, but my current weight of 170 doesn’t do anything to make the prospect of donning a bathing suite any less terrifying.

But, for my kidlets, I’ll bite the bullet. (And apologize in advance for any retina-scarring I unintentionally cause, LOL.)

Tonight is officially the first night of their spring break, and I promised them I’d take them to the local (indoor) pool. They’d been begging me to go to the Wild River Country, but since that’s not open yet, they conceded when I offered them a night of swimming, LOL.  I’ve got a week’s worth of fun activities planned for my little monsters, but this one, thank the lord, is the only one that requires a bathing suit. 😉

So, as I sign off and embark on this emotionally scarring act, I ask that you keep me in your thoughts. *straightens shoulders and takes a deep breath* Only your emotional support–and maybe a well-timed bout of amnesia–will get me through this trying time.


Later, lovelies!

~Brandi Evans


Brandi Evans is a stay-at-home mom with a serious addiction—the compulsive need to tell sexy stories to whomever will listen! To learn more about her, visit her website at

8 Responses to “Help! Emotional Support Needed!”

  1. Marilyn Campbell March 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm #

    You are absolutely hilarious Brandi! And I must say I am really really impressed that you took off so much weight while having little ones under foot and a writing career, etc etc.! Good for you.

  2. Lauren Fraser March 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

    Yuck bathingsuits, those suckers are torture devices. It’s hard to look great in one unless you workout like a fiend, which most of us don’t, so I try to convince myself that the only person who’s paying attention to what I look like is me. LOL

    Congrats on losing 70lbs that’s impressive. Have fun with the kidlets.

  3. angel March 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

    You can do EET! Just be thankful I’m not putting a bathing suit on. Beached whale indeed!

    The kids will have fun. I used to swim for hours.

  4. Eileen Gormley March 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm #

    The trick is to carry it with confidence. When I was a lot heavier than 170lb, I was showering in the local swimming pool, and attracted a crowd of local young wans.

    “Hey Missus, you’ve got no clothes on.”

    “I know, I’m in the shower.”

    “Yeah, but everyone can see you.”

    And for some reason, I said, “Well, I’m used to people seeing me naked, I’m a famous Page Three girl.”

    That silenced them, and they went off to conflab.

    But the next day, when I went swimming, I found the local kids had decided I did have great boobs, and took it in turn to ask for my autograph.

  5. Nara Malone March 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm #

    I go for surfer shorts and a running tank top. I don’t know why we let something like bathing suits keep us away from the fun of the beach and the pool.

  6. shannonemmel March 16, 2012 at 8:25 pm #

    Makes no difference WHAT the scale says, Bathing suits are NOT a friend to any woman past puberty!

    The key to coping… move to someplace like Florida or Texas where pretty much no one looks really GOOD in a bathing suit, then ya blend right in!

    🙂 (Works for me LOL)

  7. Tibby Armstrong March 18, 2012 at 9:04 am #

    What everyone will see is a lovely lady who adores her children and is having the time of her life with them! You are a great mom and that’s what shows.

    Hugs and congratulations on taking care of yourself. I know firsthand how difficult it is to shed those pounds. You have triumphed in doing so!


  8. Carolyn Boyles March 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm #

    I don’t know if the concept of being heavy and putting on a “bathing suite” was a typo or intentional, but either way, it worked well.

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