Holiday Hook Ups

30 Nov

The holidays are a time of love and friendship. Good cheer and meeting new people. Not corny pickup lines, praying one of the women you proposition will actually be liquored up enough on eggnog to take you seriously enough to jump in the backseat. Just remember…keep it sexy this holiday season. Like this guy. He’s sexy. And classy too, I’m sure. (Oh yes, very sure… First class, all the way…) And if you have any of the following lines in mind for a holiday score…why not try a good old fashioned smile instead?

 

“Is that a candy cane in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?”

Ah. A festive variation on the “is that a gun/stick/other long and hard object in your pocket or do you have an erection?” pick up line. First of all, if someone could confuse your dick for a candy cane, then you have a lot of issues that don’t include bad puns. And secondly…I think I’d rather have the candy cane.

 

“All I want for Christmas is you. Naked.”

Rule number one: don’t quote a Christmas carol when hoping to score. Get your own material. And rule number two: adding one word to the end of a line does not an original make.

 

“I think I see some mistletoe.”“Where?”
“In your pants. Want me to check?”

First of all, gross. If you think you really see something in a girl’s pants, you seriously wanna go investigate what that is? That just screams “There’s a problem somewhere around here.” And secondly, if I were keeping Mistletoe down my pants, I’m pretty sure I’m not the kind of girl you want to get alone in the dark. Just sayin’.

 

“Wanna meet Santa’s Little Helper?”

If the name on your penis’s birth certificate is Santa’s Little Helper, isn’t that incredibly unfortunate in May?

 

“Wanna ring my jingle bells?”

Oh! Sure!!! I’ll jingle them with a swift kick to the…oh. Not what you meant? Then pass.

 

 

 

Luckily, neither of the two heroes in my brand new holiday release, Jingle Ball, actually need any of these pick up lines to score the heroine. I’m pretty sure she was mostly attracted to their nice, big…smiles. Yup. That must have done it.

As an early Christmas gift, I scored an exclusive invitation to a Hilltop House party. I’d heard the rumors about what goes on there…orgies, menages, voyeurism…and I planned to be a little voyeuristic myself. I’d been a good girl, after all. Certainly I deserved to witness a walk on the wild side. What I didn’t plan on was going from spectator to participate.

When I met Dane I discovered how quickly my plans could change. And when Ryder was thrown into the mix? Merry Christmas to me. These two sexy men had no problem adding much needed sizzle to my cold winter night.

To see what really roped in our heroine, check out Jingle Ball, available now from Ellora’s Cave!

Read an excerpt.

Buy now.

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