In Memory of My Dearly Departed…UTERUS!

5 Nov

I’M BAA-ACK! Most of me, at least. 🙂

I’ve been out of the loop for the past month or so, primarily because I do have a “day job” and because of that, I worked like a carzy person for weeks, just so I  could take a couple weeks off from that day job for a little “body” work.

I’ll just come right out and say it… “I had a hysterectomy!”

It wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t using it and have no intention of doing so at this stage of the game, so when it “fell and couldn’t get up”, my options were to either pull it back up to where it is supposed to be, or just get rid of the little sucker and be done with it.

I didn’t see what the big deal was, at least not in my case, but every time concerned friends heard “hysterectomy”, they’d get this odd, “end of the world” look on their faces. ( A bit un-nerving, actually 😦 )

Now, keep in mind, it was only the uterus, which is more or less a built in incubator. The only thing wrong with it was that it wasn’t where it should be and therefore, had the potential to eventually effect other internal organs if something wasn’t done to correct the problem.

Tragic, I know!

I had the surgery on a Tuesday, was home within 24hours and even went to see a movie on Friday. (*Real Steel” Nothing like Hugh Jackman to brighten your day 🙂 )

Seriously,  I feel fine and other than taking it easy and making a conscious effort to give my body time to heal, ( I DO have a tendancy to “over do”) it’s almost as though nothing happened.

I understand the lingering  “stigma” attached to “female surgery” as my mother’s generation politely called it.

What I don’t understand in this day and age is why some people actually “blushed” when they asked what kind of surgery I was having and I told them…

I’m thinking that if  a word like “hysteretomy” makes them blush, then  DAMN! I’d love to see the look on their faces at the words commonly used in erotic fiction.!

In any event,  my dearly departed Uterus ( or “Ute” as she preferred being called) was happy to be rid of me.

Obviuosly she wanted OUT and had been plotting to escape for quite some time! 

As a matter of fact, “Ute” left me a note stating that the constant threat of being called up from reserve status to active duty at her age was simply too much to take.

We had a good run together, but it was time to go our separate ways.

So we did.

It was an amicable split. No tears, no lawyers, no drama.

Just two old friends saying goodbye.

Now… If she would have tried to take Ginny the Vagina with her, it would have been a whole different story! No way! Ginny is staying right where she is.

Afterall, she IS my primary source for  “inside information” and I need her for ongoing research for my books…

Writing erotic fiction without Ginny in my life? Perish the thought!

Now THAT would be tragic!

Until next time…I’m counting down the days to stripper poles and sex on the dining room table.

Shannon (and Ginny 🙂 )

11 Responses to “In Memory of My Dearly Departed…UTERUS!”

  1. Jen B. November 6, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    Congrats and a clean break with your old friend. If I could have, I would have gotten up and danced after mine was taken away in handcuffs. Our relationship ended up bitter and embattled! I can always tell the women who have had hysterectomies because they don’t get horrified or pity look on their face!

    • shannonemmel November 18, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

      OMG! A gal after my own heart!

      Now, if they every get “cloning” perfected, we could just get rid of those pesky uteruses EARLY and be done with it!!

  2. Pat Cochran November 7, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

    Hope you’re feeling well! I had my hysterectomy in 1972 due to problems caused by endometriosis. I just realized that the problematic uterus has been gone some three years longer than it had resided within me! I loved the advice given me for the post-op period, my MIL cautioned me to lift nothing heavier than a teacup. She had forgotten
    that I had three youngsters, aged 10, 8, and 6!

    Pat Cochran

    • shannonemmel November 18, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

      Hmmmm… I LIKE that tea cup guideline!

      Damn… that will get me out of doing EVERYTHING around the house and most everything at work!

      Thanks 🙂

  3. Carolyn Boyles November 7, 2011 at 3:06 pm #

    Somehow “It’s Dead, Jim!” seems an appropriate comment here.

    Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    • shannonemmel November 18, 2011 at 4:41 pm #

      ROTF LMAO…

    • Carolyn Boyles September 25, 2012 at 3:14 pm #

      Expect the chocolate craving as well. Maybe that comes along with having everything removed and not just the one piecepart.

  4. Nara Malone November 10, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    Hey Shannon,

    Hope you’re feeling better. If positive attitudes count, yours should have you back on top of things in no time :). Hugs.

    • shannonemmel November 18, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

      LOL… I can think of ONE thing I hope to be back on top of…the sooner the better!


  5. Shelene November 17, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    I just started reading your blog and love it. You make me laugh! I also wanted to tell you, I had to get a hysterectomy 2 years ago at age 32 and I went a little *crazy* with out my hormones. I tryed a lot of different hormones replacements and I found something I love and has inproved my life so much. I went to a hormone specialist and i got -bioidentical hormone pellet- I only need to go in every 4 to 6 months and never need to take a pill. Best thing ever.. Hope you feel better soon.

    • shannonemmel November 18, 2011 at 4:40 pm #

      No problem with hormones…left the “rest of the pluming” in tact…just had my portable incubator removed! 🙂

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