Marathons for Dummies, Who Needs It?

18 Jun

If you came to this post for honest-to-bob exercising insight, you’re gonna be disappointed. I’m feeling all authory and metaphorical this morning, hence the quasi-thinky post. If you insist on real advice, uh exercise. But stop if it hurts too much. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Then do it really, really hard. *snicker* But I digress.

We’ve all heard that this Writing Gig is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. But where does that leave someone like me? I don’t often sprint and believe if I attempted to marathon right now I’d explode. Not in a glorious pinata sort of way that most people could enjoy, but more in a raining chunks-of-Sasha-Hollywood-horror-movie-starring-disposable-teens sort of way. Which just gave me a plot bunny, dammit.

My point is that I truly only run when I can’t power walk away from danger. I’m a helluva skipper if we’re being completely honest, but no where is skipping mentioned in this equation. There’s no Marathons (writing wise) for Dummies book, so I really can’t support this theory.

This year I’ve had several moments of sheer panic followed by periods of rudderlessness and I blame the metaphor. It should be more fun, more relatable. Who wants to spend time getting sweatier and more exhausted by the second? Besides, marathons only have one winner and nuts to that.

So I propose that this Writing Gig is not a shot, it’s a keg. Or if you’re more highbrow, a Jeroboam. It’s not a cucumber sandwich, it’s a six foot hoagie with hot peppers and cheese. It’s not a fat free carob cookie, it’s a whole pan of homemade peach cobbler with a side of ice cream. My point is Writing can be delicious. It *should* be delicious! I demand deliciousosity!!! Er, Wait a second….

Maybe it’s like learning to walk in heels. You start off in discount shoes with a tiny heel and you practice and wobble and maybe crash into your entertainment center, bruise your forehead and have to explain why Die Hard ended up skidding into the kitchen, but you get the hang of it.

You get more confident, you spend a little more time/money/energy and you get better shoes. Sometimes they pinch your feet and make your legs ache, but you keep going and before you know it you’re strutting around in 4 inch, leopard print Louboutins like you own the place.

And really, isn’t that much better than ending up a sweaty mess?

Sasha Devlin

2 Responses to “Marathons for Dummies, Who Needs It?”

  1. Marilyn Campbell June 19, 2011 at 6:08 am #

    I’m with you Sasha! Food-wise I’d compare my ideal writing time as slowly savoring every teensy bit of a 2 lb Maine lobster with lots of sweet, warm melted butter, but lately I’ve felt nudged to grab some chicken nuggets in a bag while I’m driving. Thanks for making me think and laugh.

  2. Nara June 20, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    I think I could go with the keg metaphor.

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