Writing the . . . er, Climax

14 Jun

Sooner or later (and for the gals on this blog, it’s generally sooner), the time comes to write the climax. And no, I’m not talking about the ending. In erotic romance, heroines get to climax. A lot. In fact, that’s part of how readers know the heroine has found the one (or the two, if you’re Samantha Kane). The heroine has multiple, mind-blowing orgasms every time she has sex.

You might be thinking: “Yay! Orgasms! I want one, too!”

An erotic romance author is trying not to think about that. Instead, she is thinking: pounding surf or bursts of fireworks? Waves of pleasure? Or a star going nova? Inundated with the rising tide of desire? Or the blazing heat of the sun shimmering through her body?

Yep. That’s the real question. When writing the climax, do you go with wave action or celestial phenomena?

I admit it—I have stared at my computer, fingers poised above the keyboard, repeating to myself: No waves. No ocean metaphors. No water analogies. And absolutely no sunspots.

In an effort to expand beyond the bounds of raging riptides of lust, I am going to share some of my attempts to find alternatives for my heroines. Don’t laugh.

Gardening:

Her vajayjay blossomed like a daisy seeking the heat of his sun.

Performing in a circus:

She felt her climax approaching and she leapt, reaching for her orgasm as an acrobat reaches for the trapeze.

Eating cupcakes:

Her climax suffused her senses, like the first bite of a vanilla chocolate red velvet cupcake frosted with butter cream.

Skateboarding:

Gradually she picked up speed until her climax hit and she careened like a skateboarder off the handrails of pleasure.

If you’re lucky, you won’t see any of these ClimaxFails in print. Sigh. It may be back to sunspots for me. But first, I need a cupcake.

6 Responses to “Writing the . . . er, Climax”

  1. Marilyn Campbell June 14, 2011 at 5:40 am #

    Oh, Erica, this was a really great way to start my Tuesday morning. I guess we’ve all been at that point where we considered some pretty crazy ways to describe IT. Though I never thought of comparing it to a circus performance…

  2. Bond June 14, 2011 at 4:37 pm #

    You say don’t laugh and then hit me with a blossoming, vajayjay? Loved the article.

  3. Erica Anderson June 14, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Gardening and skateboarding were two of the most un-sexy activities I could think of. Consider yourselves lucky–with all the talk of fluttering lady parts lately, I considered going with:

    Her vajayjay fluttered like a maddened hummingbird desperate for his nectar.

  4. Kaily Hart June 14, 2011 at 6:52 pm #

    LOL. Yes…always the search for another unique but believable way to describe it. Loved your post!

  5. shannonemmel June 15, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    Girlfriend….I thought you were from Alaska–
    How could you have left out the Avalanche scenario?

    …Blood roaring in her ears as the avalanche of pleasure rose to the highest peak and crashed over her vallley. Engulfing her, consuming everything until she was left breathless beneath the mountain of muscle….
    Hehe…goofy I know….but that was off the cuff…and I’m at work so it was the best I could do with people sitting in my office. 🙂

    Great post Erica– and thanks for breaking up my otherwise BORING day!
    –Shannon

    • Erica Anderson June 16, 2011 at 11:41 am #

      Avalanches of pleasure? Now why didn’t I think of that? Although, technically, an avalanche is just pounding surf that happens to be frozen. Hah!

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