The “Mutha” of all blogs… A Mother’s Day M.I.L.F Smackdown

8 May

First,  for anyone who has been living under a rock for the past decade or so, MILF, is an acronym for “Mother/Mum I’d Like to F@#k“. It denotes a sexually attractive older female, generally between 30 and 50 years of age, and let’s not forget the most important factor…

A MILF is someone’s MOTHER!

If you have ever been referred to as a MILF, wear the honor proudly because you are in VERY good company. “Team MILF” might have been popularized by “American Pie” but it goes back a loooooooong way before that.

Think I’m kidding? Think again!

Let’s begin with Jocasta, the mother of Oedipus whom (as the story goes) he meets and has sex with. (Okay, hot mom or not….that’s just gross!) Skip ahead to modern times and Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate exemplifies the concept. (Seriously, I just don’t see Dustin Hoffman as a sexy hottie, but that movie is a CLASSIC!)

Pamela Anderson, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez and Heidi Klum are contemporary members of team MILF, but in a head-to-head smackdown, who would win out as the greatest MILF of our time?

Well, let’s start by looking at what it takes to make the team to begin with. Being hot, over 30 and a mother are all “given” so what else should we look at?

Talent? Versatility? Sure, we’ll take those things into consideration, but since they’re all mothers, I think we should also take a closer look at their “Baby Daddies” to help us decide. (Gotta get the Eye Candy in there somehow ;o) 

It’s time for the Mother’s Day MILF Smackdown so let’s get ready to rrrrrumble!

First up—Pamela Anderson. She scores waaaay high on the hotness scale, but she’s a bit limited on actual talent. On the flip side, she shows great versatility since she has made a lucrative career on…well on just being “Pamela Anderson”. So what about her “Baby Daddy”?  

Crew  member Tommy Lee is one helluva rocker, but he’s a tad on the “Motley” side and a bit too “lean” for my tastes, so not many points for that.

Next? Heidi Klum—Super hot “Super Model” who’s branched out and become a legitimate business mogul on her own merit. Baby Daddy? Honestly, I can’t remember the first one, but sexy crooner, Seal is the father for our purposes. I admit his face is a rough as his voice is smooth, but OMG what a body he has! Heidi gets major props for that one!

What about JLo? She’s beautiful, multi-talented and somehow got her figure back after giving birth to TWINS. She can sing, dance and act and has a successful clothing line to boot. So why is she not number one on this list?

It all goes back to the relative hotness of “Baby Daddy”!

Marc Anthony is an amazing talent, but once again, he doesn’t make the grade on the hotness scale, for me anyway.

(Although the dark circles might be from sleepless nights with the twins, I’m pretty sure he had those before he met JLo. Marc—Get some sleep or a good concealing stick…but do something man!)

So who does that leave us with?

Angelina Jolie!

Oscar nominated actress, and mother of TWINS…plus 4 more children and she is undeniably one of the most beautiful women in the world. In my book, Angie could take the top spot based on that alone. Add to that the long line of sexy co-stars and the way she made the screen sizzle with everyone one of them, and…Well, I’m as straight as a person can be and Angelina Jolie is one MILF that even I wouldn’t say no to. LOL

We write erotica so let’s face it ladies, could you possibly create a better couple to add to for the ultimate fantasy ménage story than “Brangelina”…plus one? Holymotherofgod, if you can…please let me know because I want to be the FIRST to buy THAT book!

It looks like the judges scores are in and this year’s Mothers Day MILF Smackdown is over.

So my lovelies, whether or not you are a mother on this Mother’s Day, you are all beautiful, sexy, talented, powerful women in your own rights. Remember that and don’t EVER judge yourself based on the expectations and standard of others.

You are “WEWB”— Women Everyone Wants to Be.

My next blog is in two weeks…Pleeeease tell me it’s not another holiday Sunday.

Until then, I’ll just sit and contemplate the possibilities of a “Brandgelina Sandwich.”

Damn, I LOVE my job!

—Shannon

11 Responses to “The “Mutha” of all blogs… A Mother’s Day M.I.L.F Smackdown”

  1. Marilyn Campbell May 8, 2011 at 7:14 am #

    OMG & LOL! (Those are the only acronyms I know so thanks for clarifying those others). This blog was sooooo creative and fun to read & drool over! I can think of lots of other hot guys but not other hot women I’d consider a menage with (uh, I mean I’d consider writing a menage about *blush*)!

    • shannonemmel May 8, 2011 at 7:58 am #

      Glad you enjoyed it… afterall, we “MILFS” have to stick together!

      Happy Mothers Day, my dear!

  2. Desiree Holt May 8, 2011 at 8:38 am #

    What a great blog. I loved reading it.

    • shannonemmel May 9, 2011 at 8:19 am #

      Thanks, Desiree!
      Hope you had a great Mother’s Day Weekend!

  3. Mai May 9, 2011 at 12:14 am #

    LMAO loved the blog, very good!

    • shannonemmel May 9, 2011 at 8:17 am #

      Thanks Mai…So far I’ve had to post on Easter Sunday and Mother’s Day.
      Looking ahead, I’ll have Father’s Day and July 3rd (July 4th Weekend)…What IS it with me & holidays?
      LOL

      Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed the blog and hope you come back for more!
      –Shannon

  4. Lani May 12, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    Loved this blog! And TOTALLY agree with number one angelina. Probably because of Brad. (Of course.)

    Funny and entertaining. I had never heard of MILF…thanks!

    • shannonemmel May 12, 2011 at 6:41 pm #

      LOL…yeah– my daughter (who is a mother of 2) had to explain it to me a while back. She and her “MySpace” frineds were going back and forth about “team MILF” and who was the “Team Captain”.

      She told me what it was and my next post was signed, “MILF Matriarch”

      They’ve referred to me a “Mama MILF” ever since.

      hahaha…if they only KNEW 🙂

  5. ellaapplebyart May 13, 2012 at 6:47 pm #

    Fantastic read on the blog!
    thanks and Happy Mothers Day!

    artsyoil@yahoo.com

  6. shannonemmel May 13, 2013 at 4:47 pm #

    Reblogged this on Passionate Reads and commented:

    I’m still alive and I will be back with new posts SOON…PROMISE!
    –Shannon

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