Oh the torture…

8 Apr

So a few years ago I had my nail completely ripped out and it hurt like crap. Now whenever I see torture scenes on tv when they pull out the nails one by one, I just cringe because I remember how painful that was. Well, I think having every last nail pulled out slowly would have been less painful then what I spent yesterday doing. What did I do?

Ugh, well my hubby and I are heading to Vegas in a couple of weeks so that pushed up bathingsuit season a little bit for me, which means I needed to buy a new suit.

Oh sweet mother of God, complete and utter torture.

Now I had psyched myself up for days about this venture. I’d looked at myself in the mirror at home from ever conceivable angle and honestly thought it’s not that bad. The hours of working out has been well worth it, blah blah blah. Yeah, that lasted until I slid on the first suit. OY. I have no idea who they create these things for but it certainly isn’t my body.

I’ve bought enough bathingsuits over the years that I should know to jump right to the mix and match section, but they always have these cute little suits at the front of the store, and I’m always stupid enough to think that maybe it will work out. It never does. To get the thing to fit my butt my boobs are completely hanging out, which would be fine if I planned on going to a topless beach and could lose the top, but I’m not. So I go the other way and try to fit my breasts, then I have this ridiculously saggy ass and the bottoms don’t stay up. *rolls eyes* It’s grim.

Then tie in the fact that unlike some stores with their skinny mirrors, I’m convinced that bathingsuit stores have  fat mirrors because I sure didn’t look like that when I left home in the morning. Or at least I hope I didn’t. LOL

So I tried on countless bathingsuits with the perky little store clerk telling me if I just came out and showed her she’d be able to help. Oh hell no. It’s bad enough I have to see myself in some of these things, I’m certainly not going to inflict that on a stranger.

Well you guessed it I finally walked out of there empty handed. Sadly by the end of the day my self-esteem was in the toilet, and all I wanted to do was go home and eat a pint of ice-cream.  And lucky me I’m going to have to do it all over again.

I was really looking forward to summer too, the cute summer dresses, tank-tops and sandals. But you tie in some bathingsuit shopping and a bikini wax and OY maybe winter isn’t so bad.

But on a brighter note, I saw this youtube video the other day that cracked me up, and I realized maybe I don’t have it so bad after all. LOL Hope you enjoy.

Lauren

http://www.laurenfraser.com

14 Responses to “Oh the torture…”

  1. Marilyn Campbell April 8, 2011 at 7:27 am #

    Oh how I feel your pain, Lauren! I’m convinced that all bathing suits in those adorable stores are designed by horny teenage boys! I finally settled on gym shorts, sports bra and a tank top!

    • Lauren Fraser April 8, 2011 at 10:04 am #

      LOL I think you may be onto something Marilyn, maybe I need to find ones designed by women. *grin*

  2. Kaily Hart April 8, 2011 at 8:09 am #

    I can’t count the amount of times I’ve gone to buy a bathing suit and ended up with nothing LOL. You know what I did for a beach trip last year? I bought a pair of surf shorts. They were short, cute, but they were stil SHORTS. I paired them with a plain bikini top. I think it worked out well.

    I’m going to be in Vegas at the end of May. I need a new bathing suit for that too. Hubby keeps reminding me I should get it early. See, he knows I’m gonna be in a bad mood and wants it out of the way as quickly as possible :). Now you’ve put the fear of God in me as well!!

    • Lauren Fraser April 8, 2011 at 10:13 am #

      Have fun shopping for a suit. *rolls eyes* Hopefully you have more luck than me.

      I used to always wear shorts and a bikini top but my girls always ask me why I wear them.I can get away with it when I’m boarding or skiing or doing other watersports but I don’t really have an excuse the rest of the time so I have to force myself to suck it up. LOL

  3. Maria D. April 8, 2011 at 8:12 am #

    Lol Lauren…you should never pick suits from the front of the store…..

    OMG…that was the funniest video I think I’ve ever seen…Thanks for the laugh!

    • Lauren Fraser April 8, 2011 at 10:14 am #

      I know you’d think I’d know that. LOL

      Glad you enjoyed the video. That wax strip was like the female version of 40 year old virgin. Ouch.

  4. Kim April 8, 2011 at 8:22 am #

    OMG, my eyes are tearing – that was SO funny, but SO true!!!!
    Thanks Lauren for the wonderful laugh today!
    Good luck on the hunt for the swimsuit!!!!

    • Lauren Fraser April 8, 2011 at 10:15 am #

      Thanks, Kim.

      I laughed hard when I saw it too. I think I’m going to start saying feck instead of the other f word choices since it just makes me laugh.

  5. Brandi Evans April 8, 2011 at 10:20 am #

    OMG! I laughed so hard I spewed coffee!!! That video needs to come with a warning, LOL. 🙂

  6. Mai April 8, 2011 at 11:25 am #

    The front of the store suits are a trap, 🙂

    That vodeo was hilarious, I was screaming and laughing, so awesome!!

    • Elaina Lee April 8, 2011 at 11:53 am #

      OMG, Lauren, I laughed so hard!!! I usually buy a suit each year and wear it a grand total of one time. I keep hoping each year I’ll buy that one suit that will make me look like a beach hottie. But alas, the beach hotties get their suits from super-secret stores… I’m convinced of it!

  7. retta l April 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm #

    I know the feeling about the past experices making tv movie scenes hard to watch. I could not agree more. Getting a new swim suit ranks right up there with them. Have fun in vegas this is the good time to visit. just before it gets to hot.

  8. Cari Silverwood April 8, 2011 at 6:38 pm #

    The Brits sure know how to do comedy.
    Spoiler: The hedgehog in my knickers line had me absolutely ROFL
    And bikinis — I always buy them with my eyes closed 🙂

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