Cook Naked: Irish Expresso

17 Mar

The Perfect Stovetop

Bonjour, mes amis. Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Do I have a treat for you, something to fuel your day and put a lilt in your Latte.

If you don’t have an expresso machine, not to worry. I show you the poor man’s way to make a coffee that not only opens your pet’s eyes, but puts a lusty gleam in them too.

We start with the expresso. My pet, Sarai, she is always shopping in the bargain shops, how do you call them here…the thrift store? So this week she brings home a little moka pot she found for two dollars. She doesn’t know what it is. Can you believe, she brings this home for the fun of figuring out how it goes together and what it does. I spoil the fun by showing her, but I promised to make it up with this St Patrick’s Day treat, a surprise to greet her when she wakes up. She loved it.

Here’s a tip for you mes amis, put a smile on your loved one’s face first thing in the morning and she will give you something that makes you smile the rest of the day.
Now on to the coffee. If you don’t have a fancy machine or stove top pot, brew some double strength drip coffee.

Here’s what we need:
Expresso or strong coffee
Baileys  Irish Cream
2% Milk (soy milk works too)
A jar with a lid or a French press

I in a cup you put one part expresso to two parts Baileys. Then you want to add steamed milk to the top. Now this is where those without the fancy machine lose heart. Don’t worry. We don’t need a big steam machine or a milk frother to get a nice latte. We have two other excellent techinques.

The French Press

This sounds like one of those positions for Madam Natalie’s sex blog. Hmm. I might have to take more coffee upstairs when we are done here and see if my pet and I can come up with a technique to go with that title…but we go off the track here.

Pour milk in the bottom of the pot, just a little, we only want enough to get a nice bit of frothy foam to top off your drink. We are after texture and sensation here, rather that lightening or flavor.the coffee because the Baily’s does the lightening and flavoring here. So add your milk and use the plungeer to froth up some foam. All this plunging and agitating gets the imagination going again.

You plunge in and out for about half a minute and you sing a little tune while you froth your milk: Tiny bubbles, in the whiskey, makes her happy, makes her feel so frisky.
I know, I know. My song is bad, yes? Sorry. I get carried away. This is what being in love does to you.

Canning Jar Method

If you don’t have the French press, you pour your milk in a glass jar, screw on the lid and shake vigourously for thirty seconds. You sing whatever song you like.

Then — this last step is the same for French Press or jar method — you take off the lid and pop the milk in the microwave for 30-40 seconds. This warms and releases milk sugars and brings the foam to the surface. It will double the volume of foam so be sure to use a container with plenty of room.

Now spoon your foam and a little milk on top of the coffee mixture, you can sprinkle a little cocoa powder or chocolate shavings on top if you like. Then take it to your lover. Be sure to make one for yourself– you will need it to keep up with her 🙂

Traditionally, you are supposed to plant your potatoes on St. Patricks Day. I think I can find something more interesting to plant. Until next time, mes amis, happy planting.

4 Responses to “Cook Naked: Irish Expresso”

  1. Kelly Jamieson March 17, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    According to Alex Levine “Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat”. Yum! Thanks Bond!

  2. Calogero Mira March 17, 2011 at 12:41 pm #


  3. Marilyn Campbell March 17, 2011 at 6:13 pm #

    Adorable as usual! I love this column.


  1. A Video about Irish Cream Caramel Latte Recipe « Calogero Mira, Food and Recipes - March 19, 2011

    […] Cook Naked: Irish Expresso ( […]

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