Arm The Death Ray

7 Mar

I never know what to say when I’m trying to introduce myself. Like, I could say hi. But then again you don’t know me yet. Maybe hi is too informal. Maybe it’s as though I think I’m your best mate, and next thing you know I’ll be borrowing your stapler or eating your biscuits or licking your eyeballs or summat.

But then, “hello” sounds far too formal. It sounds as though I’ve decided I’m your insane business partner (probably against your will) and we’re going to launch Mega Death Rays Incorporated some time next week.

Of course, I’ve no idea why it’s Mega Death Rays Incorporated. I’ve no plans to rule the world and even if I did, I doubt I’d use a death ray. I’d just staple hot naked dudes to myself and race down the street shouting JOIN ME I AM THE WAY FORWARD if I wanted to take over the world.

Which sounds mad now, I know, but once you get to know me you’ll understand. I talk about hot dudes a lot. I talk about them way more than I talk about whether or not I should say hi or hello. I talk about them in the shower (to myself, obviously. How rude would it be if I was in there with my husband and just randomly started discussing Armie Hammer’s penis?), I talk about them to my editor (yep, she is amazeballs. And long-suffering), I talk about them on Twitter and on my blog (I do a Mancandy Monday. See here: http://themightycharlottestein.blogspot.com/2009/11/mancandy-monday-mr-sweater-vest.html ).

In short: I like hot dudes. Which is a good thing, really, because hot dudes are kind of my business. My actual business, not the business I invented with the forcefield of hot dudes and the secret death rays. My real business is writing erotica and erotic romance, as you’ve probably guessed already because this blog is populated by fantastic amazeballs writers and somehow I’ve found myself amongst them, even though I once wrote a story about Alex Krycek from the X-Files saving me from Communist Russia.

I mean, that alone should have barred me from publication forever, right? But somehow it didn’t. Somehow I’ve written for Black Lace, and Xcite, and Total-E-Bound, and the Mighty Ellora’s Cave.

Inorite? How did that ever happen to me, person who rambles about death rays and Armie Hammer’s willy? I just d0n’t know. But boy, am I ever grateful it did. Just look at me now, talking to you, on this fabulous blog!

9 Responses to “Arm The Death Ray”

  1. Kaily Hart March 7, 2011 at 8:58 am #

    Hey, Charlotte! Welcome to Passionate Reads. You sound wild and okay…a little nuts. You should fit right in LOL. Of course, I shouldn’t speak for the other ladies here but…what the hell. We’re all mad about hot dudes too!

  2. Marilyn Campbell March 7, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    Welcome Charlotte, I am ditto-ing Kaily’s thought that you sound just wacky enough to blend right into this group! Don’t change!

  3. KJ Reed March 7, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    Aww, we’re very glad you joined us, Charlotte!

  4. Lauren Fraser March 7, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    Welcome to the group, Charlotte. With your love of hot guys you’ll fit in perfectly here. *grin*

  5. themightycharlottestein March 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    Kaily- a *little* nuts? I think you’re being kind! But I know I’ll fit in amongst this delicious hotbed of dude lovers.

    Marilyn- I promise I won’t. I enjoy being this weird too much to ever go back now!

    Thanks, KJ! Am thrilled to be joining you guys!

    Lauren- I had a feeling…

  6. Sasha Devlin March 7, 2011 at 6:17 pm #

    It would be an honor to work at Death Rays Inc. I should get you to write all of my intros because you are beyond entertaining.

  7. themightycharlottestein March 8, 2011 at 8:55 pm #

    Awww, thanks Sasha! You can definitely be my Head of Operations.

  8. naramalone March 10, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

    Welcome, Charlotte. Wonderfully funny introduction. Talk all you want about hot naked dudes here. You can staple them anywhere you want too!

  9. themightycharlottestein March 10, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

    Hee hee! Thanks, Nara! I do love to staple dem fellas.

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