Cook Naked: Eggnog Belgian Waffles

23 Dec

When waffles and ice cream live in sin…

Bonjour and Merry Christmas, mes amis. Tibby Armstrong is with me today and she brings you a sexy holiday treat for your lover.

Welcome, Tibby.

Tibby: May I say what an honor it is to be in your kitchen? I’ve been looking forward to meeting you for some time. In fact, I find you quite an inspiration.

Bond: Merci, Tibby. Sheet Music,your novel, gets my creative juices flowing. Tell everyone about your book.

Tibby: Sheet Music is my debut novel with Ellora’s Cave. Full of glamour and intrigue, it’s the story of Kyra Martin, a rather determined music journalist, and David Tallis, the equally stubborn superstar whose story could make or break her career. Neither one of them is much of a chef, but David sure can heat up a room!

Bond: A hobby of mine is making cooks of those who find the kitchen a challenge. Some think cooking is a chore. I enjoy the process and especially the history behind some recipes. Many people think eggnog comes to America from Europe. It does, but not in the form Europeans originally used. They made a wine punch. I think the American version — with it’s additions of Rum, or Bourbon — has the richer flavor. Now we don’t add the alcohol to our eggnog before we mix it in the waffles, but there is a place for the spirits. You’ll see.

Tibby: I can’t wait to taste your sinfully delicious concoction, M. Bond. Late in Sheet Music, Kyra and David set out to make Belgian waffles, but encounter a disastrous case of what you might call kitchen interruptus. I always wondered what might’ve happened if they’d managed to, uh, get to the whipped topping.

Bond: *chuckling* I know this kitchen interruptus too well. As for what happens when you get to the whip cream, that is something you must explore. Maybe I can inspire you to write a Belgian waffle Quickie.

For such a decadent treat, Belgian Waffles are easy to make. You need the waffle iron, but that is the only special tool. You may want something like a picnic cloth for the bedroom if you are going for breakfast in bed. This is definitely a breakfast it may be fun to serve on your… your lover in bed.

Tibby: Hm. Sheet Music brings romance back to the dining table in one of my favorite scenes. Although David can afford it, perhaps we could use the inspiration and spread our feast here rather than risk ruining the satin duvet?

Bond: *grins* Satin sheets. I like his style. Memories of satin sheets and silky skin are running away with me. We need to get busy here. I start by sifting the dry ingredients together. Tibby will get the iron heated.

Tibby: *looks over her shoulder* Do you prefer to oil your iron M. Bond?

Bond: Brat. You tease me. Oui, use the canola spray.

Next we beat an egg into the eggnog. *waggles eyebrows at Tibby* I hear you have a special whipping technique, Tibby.

Tibby: It’s a fairly standard technique I learned from David and Kyra, actually. You just beat it, like so, until it peaks… Oh. Wait. I was thinking of the cream again.

Bond: Mm, yes, many things get peaks with a beating, but eggnog gets frothy. *licking lips* The extra egg goes into the eggnog and follow that with a couple of pats of melted butter. We want thick. We want rich. We worry about consequences after the holiday.

Tibby: Thick and rich… Reminds me of David’s voice. It sizzles down your spine the way I’d imagine this batter hits the iron. As with your recipes, M. Bond, fans can never get enough.

Bond: Voice is like a spice, n’est-ce pas? The lover’s tone, those sexy moans they carry you into another world, become a special language. In cooking, the sound’s ands scents are the language. You learn the difference between the wet sizzle that means we still have a way to go and the higher pitch that signals completion is near. Let’s mix the bowl of liquid ingredients into the bowl of dry, and soon you will hear for yourself.

This is another recipe you have to feel your way into. Maybe you like a little nutmeg in your waffle. Nutmeg is spice that says holidays and eggnog to me. Maybe you need more eggnog to make the mixture pour well. You decide.

Tibby: It seems combining the down-to-earth with the exotic in this recipe takes considerable finesse with a dash of intuition, M. Bond. Not being much of a cook myself, I’m wondering if it’s more or less difficult than finding your way around a rock star’s entourage.

Bond: I think Kyra would agree that when you open your senses, use your passion and love for a compass, you find what you’re seeking.

Right now we seek golden brown. You know she is done when the steam subsides, when the sizzle takes a certain tone. Look there, she is golden, glistening,just a hint of steam rising and the scent of nutmeg. She makes my tongue twitch. And now we get to the fun part — dressing her up.

Tibby: Ooh! Dress up! I had such a Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman moment when David sent his entourage to glam up Kyra for a music industry award event! I think, however, he had even more fun undressing her in the… *smells the iron overheating* Oops. Sorry. I digress.

Bond: I love that part of the story too. Men, we like to wrap a woman in something pretty and just look, savor her. But you are right, the undressing is even more fun than the dressing. Before we get to savoring, we need to finish the dressing.

You can choose the toppings you like. For this version we heat blackberry preserves in a pan. Now is the time for the spirits. I like a good Kentucky bourbon for this part. Take just a dash and stir in the preserves. We want the flavor but we don’t want it too runny.

Ah mes amis, if you could smell this feast. Magnifique! Okay, Tibby, bring on the whipped cream.

Tibby: Finally! The whipped cream! *dips finger into bowl*

Bond: *catches Tibby’s wrist and steals the first lick from her finger* Whip cream and the taste of a woman’s skin…mmm. Get a copy of sheet music, mes amis, and you’ll be inspired to make some sheet music of your own. Happy Holidays.


1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 cups eggnog
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 egg, beaten
1 cup preserves
2 cups berries
1 cup whipped cream, to garnish (optional)
Bourbon (optional)
Ice Cream (optional)
One copy of Sheet Music by Tibby Armstrong (don’t leave this ingredient out)

***Special Notice — Next week, instead of my regular column, the lovely Grace Bradley will blog about the writing contest Passionate Reads is hosting during January. Mark your calendars and be ready with any questions you have for her.

You can get a copy of Sheet Music, by Tibby Armstrong, here at Ellora’s Cave.

You can learn more about Tibby at her website.

Master Bond is the kinky blogging chef from Nara Malone’s novel, The Dungeon Gourmet.

You can learn more about Nara at her website.

One Response to “Cook Naked: Eggnog Belgian Waffles”

  1. Maria D. December 23, 2010 at 9:14 am #

    I loved “Sheet Music” …it was a fabulous story.
    I also love Belgian Waffles but am not very brave in the kitchen…lol

    Happy Holidays Everyone!

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