Cook Naked: Victorian Applesauce Cake

30 Sep


Photo shared under Creative Commons license via Wikimedia Commons.

Bond: Bonjour, mes amis. Crystal Kauffman is here with us today to make her favorite Victorian Applesauce Cake. Her new erotic novel, Saving Lady Ilsa, is about a Victorian seamstress rescued from an abusive situation by a wealthy gentleman. Crystal will be taking a world tour (appearing right here next week on Thursday) to celebrate her release, and posting a free short story which runs parallel to Ilsa and Bradford’s story in the servant’s quarters about a washer maid who aspires to be a cook. Welcome, Crystal.

Crystal: Thank you, Master Bond. Unfortunately, washer maid Angelina isn’t much of a cook, but Bond’s going to help her out.

Bond: It will be my pleasure. I love the old ways. The Victorian manor kitchen was a real kitchen, iron and copper pots, Real food. An apple was not as big as your head, but the flavor was big, had a tang. And Victorians understood that you have to cook like you make love, slow and with feeling. Don’t you think Crystal?

Crystal: Absolutely. In the 1800s, eating provided almost the same indulgent pleasure as sex, especially for the wealthy. Ilsa Bergstrom didn’t truly understand this until she experienced life in Bradford’s luxurious manor house. As well as being the seamstress at Kilgard’s Tailor Shoppe, she was forced to do the housework and cooking for the cruel tailor, as well as performing her late sister’s wifely duties. Suddenly Ilsa not only has idle time, something she’s never experienced before, but she’s indulged with such delicacies as iced cake and champagne, and chocolate covered strawberries. She’s experiencing food so delightful they cause tingles, and for the first time is touched by a man as intent on bringing her pleasure as he is himself. Bradford is one of the most honorable and kind heroes I’ve ever written, as well as strong, handsome and sexually capable…sorry, I’m getting sidetracked.

Bond: Mmm, delicacies. There is no greater pleasure than feeding your lover…strawberries, champagne…other things.

Crystal: Is it hot in here? I need something cold to drink.  Bond?

Bond: Non, I’m good. This kitchen, she is always too hot. We have to get that air conditioner checked. Hmm…where were we. First we sift the dry ingredients together.

Crystal: Oh yes, the cake. You need:

2 c. flour
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 1/2 tsp. soda
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2 tbsp. cocoa
1/2 tsp. cloves

Bond: I like to use the old fashioned, rotary-style sifter. We want a fine blend of ingredients, uniform mixing of the dark and light. The cocoa is a nice touch, a little something unexpected catches the attention. This technique works in the kitchen and the romance.

While I sift, Crystal you can mix the liquid ingredients.

Crystal: My pleasure. I love to mix things up.

1/2 c. shortening
1 1/2 c. applesauce
2 eggs

Bond: I’ll handle the eggs. I love this part. You have to handle eggs much like your lover, they are fragile and delicate but it takes  a firm hand to extract the hidden treasures within. Mmm. On second thought, I will have that glass of water. Sorry, where was I?

Crystal: We were just about to get to the host stuff. How to cook…the cake.

Bond: Ah, mes oui. The cake. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour thirty minutes.  This cake she is soft and light and best served with something sweet, and absolument, share her with something sweet. *Smiles at Crystal.* The cake, not Crystal.

Crystal: *Smiling back* A strawberry jam or diced apple marmalade topping adds a perfect touch to the champagne that must be served with this. You’ll find this cake the perfect remedy to calm the heart after a hot and heavy session with your lover. Or lovers, as the case may be. So, um, Bond, what’s your preference?

Bond: *Puts cake in the oven, turns full attention to Crystal.* My preference is to make a woman feel precious. We get there however she chooses. I have to read Saving Lady Ilsa, see how Bradford does this for his lady. Maybe I will pick up a few tips.

Crystal say’s we should serve the cake warm, after sex. An excellent idea. Until next time, mes amis, I have to entertain my guest while the cake bakes. Maybe we’ll read a book together. 🙂


Saving Lady Ilsareleases next Thursday from Ellora’s Cave. Be sure to stop back here next Thursday to celebrate the release with Crystal. Check Crystal’s blog to see where her book tour is taking her next.

Program note: Cook Naked will appear next Wednesday instead of Thursday. If you’re at Romanticon next week say hi to Nara.
Le Marquis de Bond is a fictional French Chef from Nara Malone’s novel, The Dungeon Gourmetavailable now at Ellora’s Cave.

9 Responses to “Cook Naked: Victorian Applesauce Cake”

  1. Kaily Hart September 30, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

    Sounds delicious :). Oh-la-la!

    • Bond October 1, 2010 at 12:12 pm #

      I saved a piece just for you, Kaily.

  2. Lauren Fraser September 30, 2010 at 5:06 pm #

    Very nice. An hour and a half cooking time. Hmm, you should be able to work up an appetite in that time.

    • Bond October 1, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

      I know I did. 🙂

    • Crystal Kauffman October 3, 2010 at 6:28 pm #

      🙂 That’s the intention!

  3. Andrea I September 30, 2010 at 10:07 pm #

    Another HOT cooking session with Master Bond!!

    • Bond October 1, 2010 at 12:14 pm #

      Welcome back, cherie. You inspire us. 😉

  4. Lindsey Ekland October 1, 2010 at 6:55 am #

    A history lesson and a baking lesson in one. Also a long cooking time, I bet the house smells amazing while the cake is baking. Love this segment.

    • Bond October 1, 2010 at 12:18 pm #

      Welcome, Lindsey. Multitasking comes in handy in a variety of endeavors. 😉 There’s nothing more autumn like than the smell of cooking apples.

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